Setting Boundaries

Lately, I’ve been deep in thought about boundaries—not just the ones we draw for others, but the ones we set for ourselves. I used to think boundaries were like little fences around my life, keeping out the things that didn’t serve me. But I’ve realized that some of the most important boundaries are the ones I need to put up inside my own head.

You see, I have a bit of a rebellious streak… against myself. I’ll make a rule, like, "No scrolling social media before bed," and then two hours later, I’m in a deep dive about a 2012 celebrity feud that nobody remembers. Or I’ll say, "Today, I’ll rest," but somehow, I’m reorganizing my closet because, apparently, that’s my version of self-care.

What I’m learning is that real strength isn’t just about saying “no” to others; it’s also about saying “no” to myself when I need to. It’s about being honest with myself, admitting when I’m doing something that’s not helping me, and gently but firmly pulling myself back on track.

Setting personal boundaries has been a surprising path to healing. It's like I’ve become my own cheerleader, the best friend who says, “Hey, you don’t have to say yes to every invite” or “It’s okay to have a lazy day.” And honestly? It’s been a game-changer. I’m learning to respect my own needs and feelings, even when they’re a little inconvenient. Because showing up for myself, in all my messy, complicated glory, is the best way I know to truly heal.

5 Tips for Setting Personal Boundaries:

1. **Listen to Your Inner Voice**

Sometimes, that tiny voice inside is the best guide. If you find yourself thinking, “I really don’t want to do this,” take a moment to ask why. Is it fear, or is it genuinely not right for you? Trust that voice when it tells you what you need (or don’t need) in your life.

2. **Practice Saying “No” Without Guilt**

It’s okay to say no, even to yourself. Especially to yourself! “No, I don’t need to finish this project today,” or “No, I don’t need to stay up late binge-watching TV.” You can say “no” with kindness and without apology. Think of it as self-care wrapped in a tiny, two-letter word.

3. **Set Small, Achievable Limits**

Start small. Maybe it’s not about cutting out all distractions, but just reducing them. Try a “phone-free hour” in the evening or promise yourself a break every time you finish a task. Gradually, you’ll find it easier to respect your own boundaries because they won’t feel so overwhelming.

4. **Check In With Yourself Regularly**

Ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” at least once a day. Are you tired, overwhelmed, or just in need of a little alone time? Being in tune with your needs helps you know when to enforce a boundary. Sometimes, it’s just about recognizing that you need a break or a breath.

5. **Celebrate Your Progress**

Don’t forget to acknowledge your wins! Did you say no to an extra commitment and feel better for it? Did you resist the urge to overcommit or overstress? Celebrate those moments! They’re proof that you’re respecting yourself, and that’s something to be proud of. And hey, if you slip up? Give yourself grace, not grief. It's all part of the journey.

So here’s to setting those personal boundaries, one honest conversation with myself at a time. Here’s to being brave enough to say, “I love you, but we both know this isn’t good for us.” And maybe, just maybe, here’s to resisting the call of the cookie jar… sometimes.

#joy 🏝✌️❤️